Confidence Tricks 7. Sir Walter Scott on Adversity

                                                                                                                                                                     “It’s a matter of ABC: When we encounter ADVERSITY, we react by thinking about it. Our thoughts rapidly congeal into BELIEFS. These beliefs may become so habitual we don’t even realize we have them unless we stop to focus on them. And they don’t just sit there idly; they have CONSEQUENCES. The beliefs are the direct cause of what we feel and what we do next. They can spell the difference between dejection and giving up, on the one hand, and well-being and constructive action on the other. The first step is to see the connection between adversity, belief, and consequence. The second step is to see how the ABCs operate every day in your own life.”  Sir Walter Scott

“Belief is a matter of customary muscle tension” F. M. Alexander

I love the above quote by Sir Walter Scott - it’s so modern! As a little experiment try putting the key words into Google and see what you come up with. You might find quite a few modern versions of “ABC” out there but, to my mind, none of them quite as succinct and pithy as Sir Walter Scott’s.

The second quote is by F M Alexander, the originator, of the Alexander Technique. It was considered to be quite a provocative statement in the 1930s. Some people have suggested that he said it in order to shock. Walter Carrington, however, believed that he was perfectly serious about it because he, F M Alexander, equated belief with fixation. In Alexander’s experience a rigidity of mind corresponded to a rigidity of body. (Walter Carrington on the Alexander Technique in discussion with Sean Carey, 1986, p.45f)

Try buying into the two quotes. Decide to treat them “as if” they were true. Believe that by changing your muscular reaction to adversity you will also change, for the better, the consequences that arise from adversity.

How can you change your muscular reactions? How can you weaken the hold of a limiting belief? I’m sure there are many possibilities… including, perhaps, dipping into the preceding pages of this blog.

Singing, Health & Happiness - Confidence Tricks 6

When we think of the word “health” we may also think of “happiness”. And from happiness it is a short leap of the imagination to song and celebration. And just as happiness can lead to song, so also can singing can chase away the blues at the beginning, middle or the end of the day. It re-establishes a full, easy pattern of breathing and encourages release of the muscular system, with all the attendant benefits of stress alleviation. It is a way of expressing your feelings and of linking up with other people and the world around you.

Unfortunately for some people the idea of singing is not a cause for celebration. Many people have been given negative messages at an early age, often from teachers and parents, about their apparent inability to sing. This may have happened publicly. The resulting embarrassment virtually guaranteed that the child would no longer be able to sing, thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy. The effect of these negative messages persists into adult life. During family and seasonal celebrations, when others are singing, the wounded singer holds their breath and clamps their teeth or soundlessly mimes the words.

Sound familiar? Take heart- help is just around the corner! Remember this: we are all born singers! Most people assume that the speaking voice comes first and then we build a singing voice on top of it. The reverse is true- singing comes first and then we learn to speak. For more of this article please click here…

alan.mars@yahoo.co.uk

Confidence Tricks 5

 

Memory and Centering

 

“If only I could remember my words then I would be composed” is a complaint that many of us could identify with.

 

My friend and mentor, Robin Prior, has suggested that the following is a more constructive approach “If only I could be more composed then I would remember my words.”

 

Have you had the experience of struggling to convey your thoughts on a subject that you know thoroughly? This could range from a total blanking of your mind to finding that you are simply not articulating your thoughts with the accustomed ease.

 

Adrenaline, the fight/flight hormone, tends to dampen our usual thinking and memory processes. Its job, after all, is to drive us to take physical action. Have you noticed how fast you can move when a speeding car is accelerating toward you? Logical, serial thinking is too slow in this context. It could, literally, be the death of you.

 

So the most important factor is to moderate your adrenaline flow and turns fear into a buzz, into a pleasant excitement. How? Please see the previous posts, Confidence Tricks 1 – 4.

 

You do, of course, need to practise what you want to say. It’s important to remember that memory isn’t just psychological – it’s physiological also. So, if you are going to be addressing an audience of 200 it won’t help you if you practice your speech slumped in an easy chair with your feet up in the mantelpiece! At the very least you’ll need to practice your speech whilst standing upright. Preferably standing upright centred, with your weight nicely distributed and a good wide sense of space.

 

It’s nice, but not essential, if you can practice in the actual venue. If you can’t get into the venue you can always visualise, pretend, that you are practising in it.*

 

In summary - you link your words and thoughts with a balanced and centred physiology. You link your words and thoughts with the appropriate presentation environment – either physically or in your imagination.

 

This simple approach can really quieten down your cognitive processes and clear your mind for action. Not only will you be able to articulate your thoughts fluidly you may also find that you are thinking more creatively. You might… surprise yourself… and find that… you know more… than you even suspected… you knew.

 

* I’ll say more about visualisation and mental rehearsal in a future post.

Confidence Tricks 4

All Eyes on Me?

 

Speaking in public? All the attention moving in your direction? Feeling over-scrutinised? Uncomfortable?

 

1. Use the William Shakespeare Zen koan. Say these words silently or aloud…

 

“All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players”

 

Point, literally or metaphorically, to the whole world around you. Point to all the men and women around you. Realise that they are all actors. All players.

 

Tell yourself that you are the audience. An audience of one. You’ve paid your money, you have your ticket and you are positively expected to be curious. So centre yourself and feel comfortable about gently observing, about positively scrutinising men and women, the players in front of you here and now.

 

2. Recite again…

 

“All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players”

 

This time include yourself. You also are one of the men and women. You are one of the players.

 

Understand, feel or simply believe that there is no audience. Only a cast of millions improvising perfectly. No separation.

 

Try it. It’s a wonderful, if slightly scary, perspective. 

 

Confidence Tricks 3. Agents Showcase - The Big Audition

The cast of final term drama students are reciting in unison. At least that is the idea. The sound is flat and ragged. Stressed or disengaged expressions are plain to see on the performers faces. Strain and slump in the postures. Tomorrow is an important evening for everyone’s future. An audience of theatrical agents. Careers could be made… or fizzle out before they start. You can almost see the thought bubbles - “Why do final rehearsals so often end up like this?”

What is happening here? Anxiety? Yes, in varying degrees from person to person. Tiredness and a feeling of not being quite equal to the task? The final term has been a long haul. Conflict of priorities? Time devoted to the ensemble piece is time subtracted from the all important solo slot. Despite the fact that the ensemble pieces are like the rich dark velvet that shows off the individual pieces of jewellery to best effect.

What to do? A good old fashioned motivational speech and then push on? It can work wonders… but not today, not now. The director decides – now is the time for pausing. For regrouping and redirecting the considerable individual and collective resources of the cast.

“Alright everyone! Take five!” A collective sigh of relief. Pursuit of other, small but important, goals ensues. A visit to the ladies or gents. A quick call on the mobile. Smokers huddle at the main entrance. Catch up on some gossip. Some are resting in the Alexander semi-supine position. Some sits and thinks. And some just sits.

We all have an actual need for distraction. A need to place attention elsewhere periodically. Too much work and not enough play etc.

“O.K. everyone, let’s get going again!”

Do they dive straight into the unison speech? No.

For the next ten minutes the students separate out into pairs. One of the students, the tester, starts to gently push the other student, the testee, who becomes wobbly and loses balance. After a short pause the testee places their hand briefly over their lower abdomen and then, returning their hand to their side, stands in a neutral posture. The tester begins to gently push again. This time the testee is stable and not only confidently balanced but looking calmer and more collected.

After swapping roles and repeating the same procedure the attitude in the cast is calmer, more powerful and motivation is high. Unison descends on the cast – the collective voice, like peeling bells, is now bright, clear and resonant.

The performance the following evening, both the ensemble and the individual pieces, is a resounding success. Students get agents and take the next step of their career.

Confidence Tricks 2

Festina Lente - Hasten Slowly

A potential student approaches a famous Japanese sword master asking for instruction.

The student asks how long it will take for him to achieve mastery in swordwork…

“It will take ten years for you to become competent in the basic skills” the master replied.

“What if I study twice as hard?” the student asks eagerly.

“Then it will take you twenty years!”

“And if I study three times as hard?”

“Thirty years! A pupil in such a hurry learns slowly.”

Confidence Tricks 1 - the Dating Game

“No! You may not call me a “Confidence Guru!” Absolutely not!” - Alan.

“But “Guru” is an extremely respectable term in media circles!” - Television producer.

“That’s as may be but my fellow regulars at the Red Lion will take the… will mock me mercilessly if they hear!” - Alan

“How about “Confidence Coach” then?” - television producer.

“Ok” sigh…

“Ok then” sigh… “Let me introduce you to the “datees” in the Green Room”

I’d been asked by a television production company to help coach some members of the public for live television. It was a dating programme. Interestingly most of the participants were in their late forties or early fifties. The usual participants were in their teens and twenties.

The “datees” would say a bit about their life, their loves, hates and hobbies directly to camera. We sat at a cocktail bar where everyone had to deliver a chat-up line and come up with an appropriate and, hopefully, humorous response. And, oh yes, we all had to strut our stuff down the catwalk (steady tiger!)Nerve wracking, of course, especially if you are not used to being in the limelight.

I taught the participants some basic centering techniques. I’ll say a bit more about the background to some of these techniques in the near future:

• Place your attention in your centre of gravity - just a few inches below your navel.
• Distribute your body weight evenly onto the ground
• Maintain wide vision and wide shoulders
• Balance your head easily on top of your spine

In the end we only had time to rehearse one or two things. The participants could sense the potential of the techniques however. And this seemed to really motivate them to simply have fun in front of the camera. A virtuous cycle?

Not everyone got a date. But everyone had fun. What is it about that wonderful mixture of relaxation and excitement that seems to make the world sparkle with possibility?

One woman who was really quite shy and reserved in the Green Room absolutely blossomed on camera. She demonstrated a golf swing, her hobby, to the camera and very shortly thereafter an eligible gent phoned in with a request to get know her better!

The two interviewers were impressed. How come a group of men and women in their late forties and early fifties could be such fun on camera? Why were they so much less inhibited than the usual “datees” in their teens and twenties?

The centering techniques certainly seemed to help. Is it true that wisdom that comes with increasing maturity? And, perhaps, the ability not to take yourself too seriously? If so then it’s good news for all of us!

The interviewers were also somewhat sceptical. Couldn’t these acting techniques stop people from simply being themselves?

I simply quoted Shakespeare “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players”

And I might have added - we often end up playing a part that is unsatisfying and unsuitable. A part that someone else wrote for us. These centering techniques can give us the flexibility, courage and motivation to try out new behaviours. Not all of the techniques will be suitable all of the time. Some of them will be entirely suitable but may take a little time to get used to. Some of them will be absolutely bang-on or, as the old sherry advert used to say, “One instinctively knows when something is right!” and we will take to them like the proverbial duck to water.

PS I’ll be running an introduction to Confidence Tricks at the NLP One day conference on April 19th.

PPS Many of the centering techniques I teach come originally from my training in Ki-Aikido. They’ve grown and adapted with me. Here is a link for my old sparring partner Charles Harris. We did our yellow belt grading together more years ago than I care to remember. He is chief instructor now for one of the biggest Ki-Aikido clubs in London.

HOVE ESPLANADE

 

 

“What a horrible, great, huge, ugly expanse of tarmac! What a blot on the landscape!” I muttered to my partner on first encountering the promenade at Hove.

I’ve lived here for a few years now and have completely changed my position on this. Actually it’s an almost unique Alexander Technique resource. Where else can you encounter such a wide open and perfectly flat space that’s empty(ish) for the majority of the day?

Here are some photo links in in mybrightonandhove.org.uk to give you the idea. I particularly like the old photo at the foot of the page. Have a look also at the contributory quotes by Mick Gates and Jackie Collins about their joy in this wonderful open space.

This is a game I like to play - Walking with my eyes closed… I estimate how far I can walk without bumping into a person, a dog or a building. I close my eyes. Slow down. Feel the ground underneath. Sense the sky above. Be aware of the space behind and to the sides. Lengthen and widen into the space above, below and around.

Open the eyes and transfer the same spatial awareness into eyes-open walking.

I’ve treated my partner and my daughters’ to the experience. A gentle hand on the elbow and I become their trusty guide-dog. Lovely on a sunny winter’s day or on a starry, windy, cloud scudding winter’s night.

I’m counting my blessings right now!

These Foots Were Made for Walkin’

I’ve just realised that most of my Alexander Technique blog musings have been done whilst walking. I absolutely love walking. I did a Google search for quotes about walking. There’s lots! And by some really smart folks too. I find myself in exalted company!

Here are a few quotes and links that I really liked:

 

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Take a two-mile walk every morning before breakfast. - Harry Truman (Advice on how to live to be 80.)

Above all do not lose your desire to walk. Everyday I walk myself into state of well being and walk away from every illness. I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome hat one cannot walk away from it… if one keeps on walking everything will be alright. - Soren Kierkegaard

I can only meditate when I am walking. When I stop, I cease to think; my mind works only with my legs.” - Jean Jacques Rousseau, Confessions

Meandering leads to perfection. Lao Tzu

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

He who limps is still walking. - Stanislaw J. Lec

My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing. - Aldous Huxley

Of all exercises walking is the best. - Thomas Jefferson

A fact bobbed up from my memory, that the ancient Egyptians prescribed walking through a garden as a cure for the mad. It was a mind-altering drug we took daily. - Paul Fleischman, Seedfolks

Walking is the great adventure, the first meditation, a practice of heartiness and soul primary to humankind. Walking is the exact balance between spirit and humility. - Gary Snyder, The Practice of the Wild

Our true home is in the present moment. To live in the present moment is a miracle. The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green Earth in the present moment… - Thich Nhat Hanh

Before supper take a little walk, after supper do the same. - Erasmus

A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. - Paul Dudley White

The sum of the whole is this: walk and be happy; walk and be healthy. The best way to lengthen out our days is to walk steadily and with a purpose. - Charles Dickens

.It is solved by walking. - A Latin proverb

Our way is not soft grass, it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upward, forward, toward the sun. - Ruth Westheimer

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” - Ellen Degeneres

When you have worn out your shoes, the strength of the shoe leather as passed into the fiber of your body. I measure your health by the number of shoes and hats and clothes you have worn out.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk. - Raymond Inmon

The Yellow’s on the Broom

We can become so habituated to living in restrictive little tunnels of space and time. Think, for example, of the morning’s headlong rush to work. Sometimes, however, it’s just that little bit easier to step out of the restriction.

The South of England has been saturated in sunshine during the past week. A cold, glorious February. Driving through our beautiful hills, the South Downs, I noticed that the Gorse bushes were in their yellow glory. The rolling Downs were expansive and ecstatic.

It reminded me of a beautiful song by Adam McNaughton about the Scottish travelling folk called “the Yellow’s on the Broom” .

The narrator in the song recounts the travelling folks miseries when they forced to live a Scaldie’s (settled house-dweller) life during the winter months. The narrator looks forward keenly to the springtime when the “gan aboot folk” can take the road once more and live in the “worlds room”. For the narrator the world’s room is synonymous with liberation, belonging and being in charge of ones fate.

Try it sometime. Instead of living in a fragmented, compartmentalised world just wake up to the one infinite room that we all inhabit. Just for a moment… expand into the space around you. It can be a bit scary. but it can also be exciting.

You can download a short mp3 clip of Adam MacNaughton singing the “Yellow on the Broom” by following this link to Coda Music.

And here are the lyrics as I recall them:

YELLOW ON THE BROOM

I ken ye dinna like it lass, tae winter here in toon.
The scaldies (settled/town folk) aye miscry us and try to put us doon
And it’s hard to raise three bairns in a single flea-box room
But I’ll tak ye on the road again, when yellow’s on the broom.

CHORUS: When yellow’s on the broom x 2
I’ll tak ye on the road again (last line of verse)
When yellow’s on the broom.

The scaldies cry us “tinker dirt” and sconce oor bairns in school
But who cares what a scaldy thinks, for a scaldy’s but a fool.
They never heard the yorlin’s lark nor see the flax in bloom
For they’re aye cooped up in hooses, when yellow’s on the broom.

Nae sales for pegs or baskets noo, so just tae stay alive
We’ve had tae tak on scaldy jobs from eight o’clock til five.
But we call nae man oor master for we own the worlds room
And we’ll bid farewell tae Brechin when yellow’s on the broom.

I’m weary for the springtime when we tak the road ance mair
Tae the plantin’ and the pearlin’ and the berry fields o’ Blair
We’ll meet up wi’ oor kinfolk frae a’ the country roon
When the gan aboot folks tak the road, when yellow’s on the broom.